Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
this will be a night to untag.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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