Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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