Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
