Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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