Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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