Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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