Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
