dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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