My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
