i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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