Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
