u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
