ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
