I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize
