In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
