Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
