In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
