Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
