Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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