This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
