Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'm both gender and math confused
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
