You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
