Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
if only i could text you this smell
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
