I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
