I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
They took my balls.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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