I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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