What a fucking waste of an outfit
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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