I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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