I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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