I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
being pregnant is like rehab
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
