You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
