I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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