Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
