Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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