No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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