he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
that is very illegal...i love you.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
