i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
