loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
