I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
