She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
