mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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