So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
