I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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