just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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