I hate all girls vehemently.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
