is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I have grass duct taped all over my body
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
