my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
