i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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