It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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