Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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