I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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